I didn't want Mrs Cyclopolos to explode. I just wanted a paper round. My name is Charlie Ian Duncan. I will be 12 on 2 February. I have written this history of my war with the grannies because I need everyone to know that I didn't mean for Mrs Cyclopolos to blow up.
I just wanted a paper round. When I say 'my war with the grannies', I really mean the war I waged alongside my best friend Hils, my second-best-friend Rashid, Peter the Iraqi who isn't afraid of anything (well apart from one thing), Warren and his magical bike TwelveSpeed and those crazy people we met underground.
The grannies started it when I asked them about a paper round and they sprayed me in the face with rooster brand chilli sauce and made me think that I was dead. Hils and I decided to go to war with them but then I discovered one of the grannies had a glass eye and I wasn't sure if it was okay to go to war against someone with a glass eye but then I discovered that the granny with the glass eye could pinch bricks in half, turn her snot-covered hankies into deadly throwing weapons and possessed a truly terrible device called the Gnashing Gnet. It's all true.
Especially the bit about me not wanting anyone to blow up.
Charlie just wants to do a paper round, but no one will have him. Why? Because the grannies have taken over all the paper rounds and are making sure that they keep them all to themselves.
So Charlie and his best friend Hils (short for Hilary, but don’t call her that) decide to investigate, only to find themselves at war with the grannies. And the grannies have some surprising tricks up their sleeves...
This is a totally ridiculous, laugh out loud story that middle—upper primary students will absolutely love. It has lots of interesting characters and with some interesting tactics, like grannies using their false teeth as weapons and Charlie being shot with Rooster brand chilli sauce and thinking he was dead. Will the war ever end?
A highly entertaining and funny read.
Reviewed by Michelle